Grief and Bereavement Treatment in Sycamore and North Aurora IL
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If you are interested in counseling for Grief and Bereavement, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.
During the course of our lives, we all experience some form of loss. For some, that loss may be the death of a loved one or close friend. For others, grief may follow the loss of a job, a relationship, a home, or a sense of safety and security. Just as each loss is unique, so too is each individual's experience of grief. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and no timeline by which grief should resolve. Whatever you are going through, you do not have to navigate it alone. Counseling can help.
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What is Grief?Grief can be defined as, “the normal and natural emotional reaction to loss or change of any kind. Of itself, grief is neither a pathological condition nor a personality disorder.” That said, grief is anything but simple, and grief may be normal but when an individual is experiencing it, it may not feel that way.
As mentioned above, although grief is most often associated with the death of a loved one, grief can also be experienced after a variety of losses or life transitions including the loss of a job, home, relationship, pet, safety, etc. Whatever loss an individual may be experiencing, it is important to know that they’re not alone. While grief and the process of grieving can be a normal and a healthy experience, sometimes a significant loss and the grief associated with it can become a problem for someone in that it starts to seriously impact their ability to function, their ability to maintain relationships, etc. and may cause significant related symptoms such as depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress, substance use, etc. Therefore, clinical intervention may be useful or needed in order to help support the individual in processing the loss and re-creating meaning in their lives and to help reduce symptoms such as depression and anxiety. While it may be difficult to express the normal feelings of grief such as sadness, guilt, denial, shock, anger, resentment, and fear, within our society, it is important to do so in order to avoid developing mental illnesses. |
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Prolonged Grief Disorder
Prolonged Grief Disorder was officially added to the DSM-5-TR in 2022, representing an important recognition that for some individuals, grief extends beyond normal bereavement and warrants clinical attention and specialized treatment. Research suggests that approximately 10% of bereaved individuals develop Prolonged Grief Disorder, meaning that while it is not the typical grief experience, it is far from rare.
Symptoms may include identity disruption (e.g., feeling as though part of oneself has died), denial or disbelief about the death, avoidance of reminders that the person is gone, intense emotional pain (e.g., anger, bitterness, deep sorrow), difficulty moving on with life (e.g., problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future), emotional numbness, feeling that life is meaningless, and intense loneliness (i.e., feeling alone or detached from others). An individual with Prolonged Grief Disorder may also experience intense yearning for their lost loved one and may become preoccupied by or have intrusive, distressing memories of them.
To meet criteria for Prolonged Grief Disorder, these symptoms must persist at a clinically significant level for at least 12 months following the loss (or 6 months for children and adolescents) and must cause meaningful impairment in daily functioning.
Certain factors may increase the risk of developing Prolonged Grief Disorder, including the sudden or traumatic nature of the loss, a history of prior trauma or loss, a close or dependent relationship with the deceased, limited social support, and a personal or family history of depression or anxiety.
While intense grief at the loss of a loved one can be very normal, for some individuals the intensity and duration of their symptoms may suggest that Prolonged Grief Disorder is present. The good news is that Prolonged Grief Disorder responds well to specialized, evidence-based treatment, and seeking help is an important and courageous step.
Symptoms may include identity disruption (e.g., feeling as though part of oneself has died), denial or disbelief about the death, avoidance of reminders that the person is gone, intense emotional pain (e.g., anger, bitterness, deep sorrow), difficulty moving on with life (e.g., problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future), emotional numbness, feeling that life is meaningless, and intense loneliness (i.e., feeling alone or detached from others). An individual with Prolonged Grief Disorder may also experience intense yearning for their lost loved one and may become preoccupied by or have intrusive, distressing memories of them.
To meet criteria for Prolonged Grief Disorder, these symptoms must persist at a clinically significant level for at least 12 months following the loss (or 6 months for children and adolescents) and must cause meaningful impairment in daily functioning.
Certain factors may increase the risk of developing Prolonged Grief Disorder, including the sudden or traumatic nature of the loss, a history of prior trauma or loss, a close or dependent relationship with the deceased, limited social support, and a personal or family history of depression or anxiety.
While intense grief at the loss of a loved one can be very normal, for some individuals the intensity and duration of their symptoms may suggest that Prolonged Grief Disorder is present. The good news is that Prolonged Grief Disorder responds well to specialized, evidence-based treatment, and seeking help is an important and courageous step.
How do you Treat Grief?
At OakHeart, grief counseling is grounded in evidence-based therapeutic approaches tailored to each individual's unique experience of loss. Depending on the nature of the loss and the individual's needs, treatment may draw from several well-supported frameworks. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for grief helps individuals identify and gently challenge unhelpful thought patterns that may be maintaining avoidance, guilt, or complicated grief responses. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be particularly valuable in grief work, helping individuals make room for the pain of loss while clarifying what matters most to them and committing to re-engaging with a meaningful life. For losses that were sudden, traumatic, or violent, trauma-focused interventions such as those drawn from EMDR or trauma-focused CBT may be incorporated to address the traumatic dimensions of the loss alongside the grief itself. For individuals who meet criteria for Prolonged Grief Disorder, Prolonged Grief Disorder Treatment (PGDT) is a specialized, structured intervention with strong research support that directly targets the specific maintaining factors of prolonged grief, including separation distress, avoidance, and difficulty imagining a meaningful future. Your therapist will work with you to identify the approach or combination of approaches that best fits your experience and your goals.
Everyone’s journey through grief is as unique as the type of loss and the value that an individual placed on what or who they lost. Treatment might include the following:
Helping the individual reach out to supportive people and decrease any isolation from others. A supportive person may include a family member, a friend, spouse, support group. It is important to allow the opportunity to talk about thoughts and feelings an individual may be experiencing as a result of the loss. We are not meant to live this life by ourselves, especially not when we’re struggling through grief.
Express feelings in a healthy way and help manage difficult and intense emotions. This might also include talking about the death. Grief is not just one emotion but instead one word to describe the experience of many emotions. In the past, grief was thought to have steps that an individual would walk through till acceptance was obtained. Now it is seen as a fluid state that allows for variance and fluctuation. This means, that the emotions experienced as a result of grief, may ebb and flow. Initially, someone may experience denial after a loss and move towards sadness and then re-experience denial again. Additionally, an individual may reach acceptance after a loss and be triggered later in life. An example of this is if an individual’s parent dies at a young age and they have reached acceptance initially and then their grief is triggered after they become a parent. Although the length of time to resolve triggered grief may be shorter, it is still important to process the thoughts and feelings experienced.
Help the individual take time to heal. This is easier said than done. Ultimately, in order to be successful at being patient with yourself after loss, it is important to have healthy expectations of how long the process of reaching acceptance will take. This process can take weeks, months, and sometimes years, and should not be compared to anyone else’s individual experience of grief. Again, an individual’s experience of grief is uniquely theirs.
Help the individual start thinking about the future and establish new meaning in their lives without their loved one. For some individuals, imagining a meaningful life without their loved one might seem impossible. A therapist can help the person slowly start to allow themselves to start thinking about the future. Finding meaning can mean very different things to everyone. It might mean letting go of asking why your loved one died. It might mean re-evaluating your own values and purpose and life. It might mean examining beliefs around death and life. It might mean finding ways to honor and remember your loved one and carry on their memory and legacy.
Everyone’s journey through grief is as unique as the type of loss and the value that an individual placed on what or who they lost. Treatment might include the following:
Helping the individual reach out to supportive people and decrease any isolation from others. A supportive person may include a family member, a friend, spouse, support group. It is important to allow the opportunity to talk about thoughts and feelings an individual may be experiencing as a result of the loss. We are not meant to live this life by ourselves, especially not when we’re struggling through grief.
Express feelings in a healthy way and help manage difficult and intense emotions. This might also include talking about the death. Grief is not just one emotion but instead one word to describe the experience of many emotions. In the past, grief was thought to have steps that an individual would walk through till acceptance was obtained. Now it is seen as a fluid state that allows for variance and fluctuation. This means, that the emotions experienced as a result of grief, may ebb and flow. Initially, someone may experience denial after a loss and move towards sadness and then re-experience denial again. Additionally, an individual may reach acceptance after a loss and be triggered later in life. An example of this is if an individual’s parent dies at a young age and they have reached acceptance initially and then their grief is triggered after they become a parent. Although the length of time to resolve triggered grief may be shorter, it is still important to process the thoughts and feelings experienced.
Help the individual take time to heal. This is easier said than done. Ultimately, in order to be successful at being patient with yourself after loss, it is important to have healthy expectations of how long the process of reaching acceptance will take. This process can take weeks, months, and sometimes years, and should not be compared to anyone else’s individual experience of grief. Again, an individual’s experience of grief is uniquely theirs.
Help the individual start thinking about the future and establish new meaning in their lives without their loved one. For some individuals, imagining a meaningful life without their loved one might seem impossible. A therapist can help the person slowly start to allow themselves to start thinking about the future. Finding meaning can mean very different things to everyone. It might mean letting go of asking why your loved one died. It might mean re-evaluating your own values and purpose and life. It might mean examining beliefs around death and life. It might mean finding ways to honor and remember your loved one and carry on their memory and legacy.
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Help the individual stop or reduce avoidance of reminders of the loved one. While avoidance might work in the short-term, it can cause problems in the long term, including keeping the person stuck and isolated. Avoidance may reduce opportunities for re-establishing meaning, and learning that they are capable of getting through the loss and navigating memories of their loved one. It is important that the person find a way back into living. Our team of psychologists, counselors, and social workers in North Aurora and Sycamore, Illinois provides compassionate, evidence-based counseling for grief and bereavement to clients throughout Kane County, DeKalb County, DuPage County, and the surrounding Chicago suburbs, including in-person and telehealth options. |
Frequently Asked Questions About Grief and Bereavement
Is it normal to still be grieving after a year or more?
Yes. Grief does not follow a fixed timeline and there is no universally "correct" length of time to grieve. Some losses, particularly the loss of a child, spouse, or parent, can take years to process and may resurface at significant life milestones. The idea that grief should resolve within a certain timeframe is a cultural myth that can cause unnecessary shame and self-judgment. That said, if grief is significantly impairing your ability to function, maintain relationships, or find any meaning in daily life well beyond the acute loss period, it may be worth speaking with a mental health professional about whether Prolonged Grief Disorder may be a factor.
What is the difference between grief and depression?
Grief and depression share many overlapping features, including sadness, withdrawal, sleep changes, and difficulty concentrating. However, they are distinct experiences. In grief, the difficult emotions tend to be connected to the loss itself and typically come in waves, interspersed with periods of positive emotion and connection to memories of the loved one. In depression, low mood tends to be more pervasive, persistent, and disconnected from the specific loss. Grief can also trigger or coexist with clinical depression, which is one of the reasons professional support can be valuable in distinguishing and addressing both.
Do I need therapy to grieve?
Not necessarily. Many people navigate grief with the support of family, friends, faith communities, and time, without formal therapy. Therapy is most helpful when grief is significantly impairing functioning, when the individual lacks adequate social support, when grief is accompanied by depression, anxiety, or trauma symptoms, or when the loss was sudden, traumatic, or complicated in some way. There is no threshold of suffering you need to reach before reaching out for support.
What does grief therapy actually involve?
Grief therapy is not about "getting over" a loss or moving on from someone you loved. It is about learning to carry the loss in a way that allows you to also move forward. Therapy may involve creating space to talk openly about the person who was lost, processing difficult emotions such as guilt, anger, or relief that may feel complicated or shameful, addressing avoidance of reminders, rebuilding a sense of meaning and identity, and in some cases addressing trauma associated with the circumstances of the loss.
Can grief be experienced for losses other than death?
Absolutely. Grief is a natural response to any significant loss, including divorce, job loss, the end of a friendship, a miscarriage, a serious medical diagnosis, loss of a pet, loss of a home, or even the loss of a hoped-for future. These losses are sometimes called "disenfranchised grief" when they are not widely recognized or validated by society, which can make them particularly isolating. All grief deserves compassionate attention regardless of the nature of the loss.
Yes. Grief does not follow a fixed timeline and there is no universally "correct" length of time to grieve. Some losses, particularly the loss of a child, spouse, or parent, can take years to process and may resurface at significant life milestones. The idea that grief should resolve within a certain timeframe is a cultural myth that can cause unnecessary shame and self-judgment. That said, if grief is significantly impairing your ability to function, maintain relationships, or find any meaning in daily life well beyond the acute loss period, it may be worth speaking with a mental health professional about whether Prolonged Grief Disorder may be a factor.
What is the difference between grief and depression?
Grief and depression share many overlapping features, including sadness, withdrawal, sleep changes, and difficulty concentrating. However, they are distinct experiences. In grief, the difficult emotions tend to be connected to the loss itself and typically come in waves, interspersed with periods of positive emotion and connection to memories of the loved one. In depression, low mood tends to be more pervasive, persistent, and disconnected from the specific loss. Grief can also trigger or coexist with clinical depression, which is one of the reasons professional support can be valuable in distinguishing and addressing both.
Do I need therapy to grieve?
Not necessarily. Many people navigate grief with the support of family, friends, faith communities, and time, without formal therapy. Therapy is most helpful when grief is significantly impairing functioning, when the individual lacks adequate social support, when grief is accompanied by depression, anxiety, or trauma symptoms, or when the loss was sudden, traumatic, or complicated in some way. There is no threshold of suffering you need to reach before reaching out for support.
What does grief therapy actually involve?
Grief therapy is not about "getting over" a loss or moving on from someone you loved. It is about learning to carry the loss in a way that allows you to also move forward. Therapy may involve creating space to talk openly about the person who was lost, processing difficult emotions such as guilt, anger, or relief that may feel complicated or shameful, addressing avoidance of reminders, rebuilding a sense of meaning and identity, and in some cases addressing trauma associated with the circumstances of the loss.
Can grief be experienced for losses other than death?
Absolutely. Grief is a natural response to any significant loss, including divorce, job loss, the end of a friendship, a miscarriage, a serious medical diagnosis, loss of a pet, loss of a home, or even the loss of a hoped-for future. These losses are sometimes called "disenfranchised grief" when they are not widely recognized or validated by society, which can make them particularly isolating. All grief deserves compassionate attention regardless of the nature of the loss.
OakHeart Grief and Bereavement Counselors, Psychologists, and Social Workers
Grief and Bereavement Related Blogs:
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Traumatic grief specifically takes place after a loved one passes away in a traumatic manner and typically occurs in a sudden, unexpected manner. If one tends to bottle-up grief or pretend it doesn’t exist, they may resist seeking out support, which can have a number of negative effects on one’s well-being such as increasing the risk of physical ailments, substance use concerns, and mental health disorders...(to read more, click on the link above).
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Many grieving people who are facing down the remainder of December find themselves dreading what the holidays are bringing. We have the cultural expectation that the holidays are a time for unfettered joy and celebration, which creates an enormous amount of added stress when you are grieving. When you feel like getting through everyday forces you to put on a mask to hide your grief, the disparity between what you actually feel and the expectations of “joy” and “cheer” that bombard you during the holiday season makes it feel impossible to get through. You may even feel like you need to hide out and sleep through the next month to emerge once January is upon us...(to read more, click on the link above).
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While grief and the process of grieving can be a normal and a healthy experience, sometimes a significant loss and the grief associated with it can become a problem for someone in that it starts to seriously impact their ability to function, their ability to maintain relationships, etc. and may cause significant related symptoms such as depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress, substance use, etc. Therefore, clinical intervention may be useful or needed in order to help support the individual in processing the loss and re-creating meaning in their lives and to help reduce symptoms such as depression and anxiety...(to read more, click on the link above).
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For so many people who are grieving, getting from November to January every year seems practically impossible. People would oftentimes just rather skip the whole thing and hibernate the season away. The impulse is certainly understandable, since this is a time of year where family and happiness are emphasized everywhere around us. This year, I wanted to share some more information on actual ways to plan for the holidays (including escape plans). These recommendations are just that, only recommendations and may not be right for you or your situation. Every family tradition is different and has a different importance to them...(to read more, click on the link above).
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