Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), it is estimated that 10 million individuals a year are physically abused by an intimate partner a year. In addition, RAINN (Rape, assault, and Insest National Network), the nations largest anti-sexual violence organization, estimates that every 98 seconds another individual experiences sexual assault.

What is Domestic Violence?

NCADV defines domestic violence as the, “willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another”. Domestic violence does not discriminate based on race, religion, economic status, age, education, sexual orientation, or nationality. Although physical abuse may occur within a domestic violent relationship, it is not always present and instead abusive behavior alone may be utilized by the abuser to maintain power and control. Some of these behaviors may include:
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• Telling the victim that they can never do anything right
• Showing jealousy of the victim’s family and friends and time spent away
• Accusing the victim of cheating
• Keeping or discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family members
• Embarrassing or shaming the victim with put-downs
• Controlling every penny spent in the household
• Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses
• Looking at or acting in ways that scare the person they are abusing
• Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do
• Dictating how the victim dresses, wears their hair, etc.
• Stalking the victim or monitoring their victim’s every move (in person or also via the internet and/or other devices such as GPS tracking or the victim’s phone)
• Preventing the victim from making their own decisions
• Telling the victim that they are a bad parent or threatening to hurt, kill, or take away their children
• Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets
• Intimidating the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons
• Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually they are not comfortable with
• Forcing sex with others
• Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control
• Pressuring or forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol
• Preventing the victim from working or attending school, harassing the victim at either, keeping their victim up all night so they perform badly at their job or in school
• Destroying the victim’s property

It is important to remember that the most dangerous time for someone experiencing domestic violence in their relationship is when they attempt to leave the relationship and safety planning should be done prior to leaving or ending a domestic violent relationship. 

What is Sexual Assault?

RAINN defines sexual assault as sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim. This may include:

• Attempted rape
• Fondling or unwanted sexual touching
• Forcing a victim to perform sexual acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body, and penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape.

Statistically, it is estimated that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows such as a friend, intimate partner relationship, or acquaintance. It is important to remember that no matter what kind of sexual assault, it is never the victim's fault.  Sexual violence can impact survivors psychologically, emotionally, and physically. These effects are not always easy for individuals to deal with and overcome, but with the right support they can be addressed.

OakHeart has therapist specifically trained in working with survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. For questions, please call 630-570-0050.

Resources

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
RAINN
Domestic Violence Shelter in Aurora Illinois: Mutual Group

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