Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss Treatment in Sycamore and North Aurora ILIf you are interested in counseling for Infertility, Miscarriage, and/or Neonatal Loss, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.
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Yearning for children and the heartbreak associated with infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss can be devastating and take a significant toll on mental health.
These are among the most painful experiences a person can go through. The grief that follows is real, it is valid, and it deserves to be taken seriously -- whether you lost a pregnancy at six weeks or said goodbye to a baby you had already held in your arms. Whether this is your first loss or one of many. Whether the people around you seem to understand or not. Our culture does not always do a good job of making space for these kinds of losses. Pregnancies are often kept private until a certain point, which means losses are often grieved privately too. Partners may grieve differently from one another. Friends and family may not know what to say or may say the wrong thing entirely. And the medical system, while focused on the physical, does not always have the bandwidth to address what the experience does to a person emotionally. At OakHeart we believe that the mental health impact of infertility and pregnancy loss is significant, real, and worthy of the same quality of care as any other mental health concern. If you are struggling, you do not have to navigate this alone. Infertility: Infertility is defined as a condition where an individual is unable to become and/or stay pregnant after one year of trying to conceive. There are many possible causes for infertility, and for some, determining the exact cause may be difficult. Being unable to determine the cause of infertility, or to have a diagnosis or identified cause delayed, undergoing rigorous testing, etc. can contribute to even more distress. Sometimes the treatments for infertility can be invasive, painful, expensive, and stressful. For some, the process of trying to conceive may take years, intensive medical testing and interventions, and create a rollercoaster of emotions ranging from hope, to devastation, to helplessness, to anger, to anticipation, etc., all of which can take a toll on relationships, physical health, and mental health. Many people experience grief while going through the process of infertility, as so often hopes and dreams of the future feel out of reach. |
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Miscarriage, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss, and Stillbirths: Miscarriage is usually defined as the loss of a baby before the 20th week of pregnancy. A stillbirth is usually defined as the loss of a baby at or after 20 weeks of pregnancy. The agony of losing a baby during pregnancy can have a significant impact on mental health. Everyone is different and each individual has the right to feel how they feel. For some, one experience with miscarriage is incredibly traumatic; however not everyone will feel the same way. Some individuals may develop anxiety and apprehension about future pregnancies for fear of losing another baby. Medical interventions required to aid in the loss may contribute to anxiety and trauma reactions.
Neonatal Loss: Neonatal loss usually encompasses the loss of a baby post-pregnancy within the first 28 days of life. For some parents, the cause of the loss is unknown, or there are delays in determining what caused the loss of their child. This experience can contribute to significant trauma, anxiety, grief reactions, and emotional distress.
Neonatal Loss: Neonatal loss usually encompasses the loss of a baby post-pregnancy within the first 28 days of life. For some parents, the cause of the loss is unknown, or there are delays in determining what caused the loss of their child. This experience can contribute to significant trauma, anxiety, grief reactions, and emotional distress.
How Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss can Impact Mental Health
A wide range of mental health issues may worsen or develop when confronted with infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal loss.
Grief Reactions and Related Disorders Symptoms might include identity disruption (e.g., feeling as though part of oneself has died; feeling a loss of sense of self or sense of one's purpose), denial or disbelief about the loss, avoidance of reminders about the loss, intense emotional pain (e.g., anger, shame, bitterness, deep sorrow, hopelessness), difficulty moving on with life (e.g., problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future, trying to conceive again), intense feelings of loneliness and aloneness, emotional numbness, feeling that life is meaningless, loss of a sense of direction, loss of a sense of certainty and control over one's future and life, etc.
Depression Symptoms of depression include persistent sadness, anxious, or “empty” mood; feelings of hopelessness or pessimism; feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness; loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities; decreased energy, fatigue, or being “slowed down”; difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping; appetite and/or weight changes; thoughts of death or dying; restlessness or irritability; aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment.
Anxiety Disorders such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health consequences of infertility and pregnancy loss. Generalized Anxiety Disorder involves persistent, excessive worry and a sense of dread about the future that can be difficult to control. Panic Disorder involves recurrent episodes of intense physical and psychological fear that can feel overwhelming and debilitating. Both conditions are highly treatable with evidence-based approaches. To learn more about these conditions, visit our Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder pages.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) For some individuals, the circumstances surrounding a pregnancy loss or neonatal loss -- including medical emergencies, surgical complications, or the traumatic nature of the loss itself -- can result in PTSD. Symptoms may include intrusive memories or flashbacks, avoidance of reminders of the experience, negative changes in mood and thinking, and heightened reactivity and hypervigilance. PTSD following pregnancy loss is real, it is recognized, and it is treatable. To learn more, visit our PTSD and Trauma pages.
Grief Reactions and Related Disorders Symptoms might include identity disruption (e.g., feeling as though part of oneself has died; feeling a loss of sense of self or sense of one's purpose), denial or disbelief about the loss, avoidance of reminders about the loss, intense emotional pain (e.g., anger, shame, bitterness, deep sorrow, hopelessness), difficulty moving on with life (e.g., problems engaging with friends, pursuing interests, planning for the future, trying to conceive again), intense feelings of loneliness and aloneness, emotional numbness, feeling that life is meaningless, loss of a sense of direction, loss of a sense of certainty and control over one's future and life, etc.
Depression Symptoms of depression include persistent sadness, anxious, or “empty” mood; feelings of hopelessness or pessimism; feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness; loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities; decreased energy, fatigue, or being “slowed down”; difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping; appetite and/or weight changes; thoughts of death or dying; restlessness or irritability; aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment.
Anxiety Disorders such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health consequences of infertility and pregnancy loss. Generalized Anxiety Disorder involves persistent, excessive worry and a sense of dread about the future that can be difficult to control. Panic Disorder involves recurrent episodes of intense physical and psychological fear that can feel overwhelming and debilitating. Both conditions are highly treatable with evidence-based approaches. To learn more about these conditions, visit our Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder pages.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) For some individuals, the circumstances surrounding a pregnancy loss or neonatal loss -- including medical emergencies, surgical complications, or the traumatic nature of the loss itself -- can result in PTSD. Symptoms may include intrusive memories or flashbacks, avoidance of reminders of the experience, negative changes in mood and thinking, and heightened reactivity and hypervigilance. PTSD following pregnancy loss is real, it is recognized, and it is treatable. To learn more, visit our PTSD and Trauma pages.
How Do You Treat The Mental Health Consequences of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss?
Grief Counseling
Grief counseling provides a safe, supported space to process the full emotional weight of infertility and loss. This looks different for each person. For someone grieving the loss of the future they had imagined due to infertility, the work may center on identity, meaning, and reimagining a path forward. For someone who has experienced a pregnancy loss or neonatal loss, grief counseling may involve creating space to talk openly about the baby they lost, processing complicated emotions such as guilt, anger, or relief, and finding ways to honor and carry the memory of their child. The goal is never to "get over" the loss but to learn to carry it in a way that allows you to also move forward.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is an evidence-based treatment approach that addresses the relationship between thoughts, emotions, physical symptoms, and behaviors. In the context of infertility and pregnancy loss, CBT can help individuals identify and challenge unhelpful thinking patterns such as self-blame, catastrophic thinking about future pregnancies, or beliefs about worthiness and identity. CBT also incorporates practical skills for managing anxiety, regulating difficult emotions, and re-engaging with meaningful activities and relationships.
Trauma-Focused Treatment
For individuals whose experience of loss involved medical emergencies, surgical complications, or other circumstances that were physically or emotionally traumatic, trauma-focused treatment is an important component of care. Approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) are well supported for processing traumatic experiences related to pregnancy and loss. To learn more about trauma treatment at OakHeart, visit our PTSD and Trauma pages.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT can be particularly valuable for individuals navigating infertility, where so much is outside of one's control. ACT helps individuals develop a more workable relationship with uncertainty and pain, clarify what matters most to them, and commit to living in alignment with their values even in the presence of profound grief and loss.
Couples Support
Infertility and pregnancy loss place significant strain on relationships. Partners often grieve differently, communicate differently, and cope differently, which can create distance, misunderstanding, and conflict at a time when connection is most needed. Couples counseling can help partners understand one another's experience, improve communication, and navigate the journey together rather than in parallel isolation.
Our clinicians are committed to providing compassionate, evidence-based care that honors the full complexity of your experience. If you are ready to reach out, we are here.
Grief counseling provides a safe, supported space to process the full emotional weight of infertility and loss. This looks different for each person. For someone grieving the loss of the future they had imagined due to infertility, the work may center on identity, meaning, and reimagining a path forward. For someone who has experienced a pregnancy loss or neonatal loss, grief counseling may involve creating space to talk openly about the baby they lost, processing complicated emotions such as guilt, anger, or relief, and finding ways to honor and carry the memory of their child. The goal is never to "get over" the loss but to learn to carry it in a way that allows you to also move forward.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT is an evidence-based treatment approach that addresses the relationship between thoughts, emotions, physical symptoms, and behaviors. In the context of infertility and pregnancy loss, CBT can help individuals identify and challenge unhelpful thinking patterns such as self-blame, catastrophic thinking about future pregnancies, or beliefs about worthiness and identity. CBT also incorporates practical skills for managing anxiety, regulating difficult emotions, and re-engaging with meaningful activities and relationships.
Trauma-Focused Treatment
For individuals whose experience of loss involved medical emergencies, surgical complications, or other circumstances that were physically or emotionally traumatic, trauma-focused treatment is an important component of care. Approaches such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) are well supported for processing traumatic experiences related to pregnancy and loss. To learn more about trauma treatment at OakHeart, visit our PTSD and Trauma pages.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT can be particularly valuable for individuals navigating infertility, where so much is outside of one's control. ACT helps individuals develop a more workable relationship with uncertainty and pain, clarify what matters most to them, and commit to living in alignment with their values even in the presence of profound grief and loss.
Couples Support
Infertility and pregnancy loss place significant strain on relationships. Partners often grieve differently, communicate differently, and cope differently, which can create distance, misunderstanding, and conflict at a time when connection is most needed. Couples counseling can help partners understand one another's experience, improve communication, and navigate the journey together rather than in parallel isolation.
Our clinicians are committed to providing compassionate, evidence-based care that honors the full complexity of your experience. If you are ready to reach out, we are here.
Frequently Asked Questions About Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss
Is it normal to feel this devastated after a miscarriage?Yes, completely. Miscarriage is far more common than many people realize. Research estimates that approximately 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, and the actual number is likely higher when very early losses are included. Despite how common it is, miscarriage is rarely talked about openly, which means many people grieve in isolation without knowing how many others have experienced the same thing.
The grief following a miscarriage is real and significant regardless of how early the loss occurred. You are not grieving only the pregnancy. You are grieving the future you had already begun to imagine, the identity you were stepping into, and the child you had already begun to love. There is no loss too early or too small to grieve, and there is no correct amount of time it should take to feel better. If you are struggling, your pain is valid and support is available.
My loss was early. Do I have the right to feel this grief? Absolutely. Gestational age does not determine the significance of a loss or the depth of the grief that follows. Many people feel pressure to minimize their grief because the loss happened early or because others around them seem to move on quickly. That pressure is not fair and it is not accurate. You have every right to grieve your loss fully and in your own time.
My partner and I are grieving very differently. Is something wrong with us? No. It is extremely common for partners to grieve differently following infertility or pregnancy loss. One person may want to talk about it constantly while the other needs space. One may want to try again quickly while the other cannot imagine it. These differences do not mean one person loved the baby more or is handling things better. They are a reflection of the fact that grief is deeply individual. If the differences between you are creating distance or conflict, couples counseling can be a valuable space to understand one another and find a way through together.
When should I seek professional support? There is no threshold of suffering you need to reach before reaching out for support. Some people find therapy helpful immediately after a loss as a space to process what happened. Others find they need support weeks or months later when the initial shock has worn off and the grief feels heavier rather than lighter. If your symptoms are significantly impacting your daily functioning, your relationships, or your sense of yourself, or if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or PTSD, we encourage you to reach out. You do not have to be in crisis to deserve care.
Can therapy help with the anxiety of trying to conceive again after a loss? Yes. Anxiety about subsequent pregnancies following a loss is extremely common and can be debilitating. The fear of losing another pregnancy, the hypervigilance about every symptom, and the difficulty allowing yourself to feel hopeful or attached can all significantly impact your experience of a subsequent pregnancy. Therapy can help you manage that anxiety, process the grief that underlies it, and find a way to be present in a new pregnancy even while carrying the weight of what you have been through.
Does OakHeart have experience working with infertility and pregnancy loss? Yes. Our clinicians have experience providing compassionate, individualized support for individuals and couples navigating infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss. We understand that these experiences are unique, that grief does not follow a formula, and that the support you need may change over time. We are here to meet you where you are.
Does OakHeart offer telehealth for infertility and pregnancy loss counseling? Yes. We offer telehealth services throughout Illinois. For many people navigating infertility or loss, the idea of leaving home and sitting in a waiting room can feel like too much. Telehealth allows you to access support from wherever feels most comfortable to you.
The grief following a miscarriage is real and significant regardless of how early the loss occurred. You are not grieving only the pregnancy. You are grieving the future you had already begun to imagine, the identity you were stepping into, and the child you had already begun to love. There is no loss too early or too small to grieve, and there is no correct amount of time it should take to feel better. If you are struggling, your pain is valid and support is available.
My loss was early. Do I have the right to feel this grief? Absolutely. Gestational age does not determine the significance of a loss or the depth of the grief that follows. Many people feel pressure to minimize their grief because the loss happened early or because others around them seem to move on quickly. That pressure is not fair and it is not accurate. You have every right to grieve your loss fully and in your own time.
My partner and I are grieving very differently. Is something wrong with us? No. It is extremely common for partners to grieve differently following infertility or pregnancy loss. One person may want to talk about it constantly while the other needs space. One may want to try again quickly while the other cannot imagine it. These differences do not mean one person loved the baby more or is handling things better. They are a reflection of the fact that grief is deeply individual. If the differences between you are creating distance or conflict, couples counseling can be a valuable space to understand one another and find a way through together.
When should I seek professional support? There is no threshold of suffering you need to reach before reaching out for support. Some people find therapy helpful immediately after a loss as a space to process what happened. Others find they need support weeks or months later when the initial shock has worn off and the grief feels heavier rather than lighter. If your symptoms are significantly impacting your daily functioning, your relationships, or your sense of yourself, or if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, anxiety, or PTSD, we encourage you to reach out. You do not have to be in crisis to deserve care.
Can therapy help with the anxiety of trying to conceive again after a loss? Yes. Anxiety about subsequent pregnancies following a loss is extremely common and can be debilitating. The fear of losing another pregnancy, the hypervigilance about every symptom, and the difficulty allowing yourself to feel hopeful or attached can all significantly impact your experience of a subsequent pregnancy. Therapy can help you manage that anxiety, process the grief that underlies it, and find a way to be present in a new pregnancy even while carrying the weight of what you have been through.
Does OakHeart have experience working with infertility and pregnancy loss? Yes. Our clinicians have experience providing compassionate, individualized support for individuals and couples navigating infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal loss. We understand that these experiences are unique, that grief does not follow a formula, and that the support you need may change over time. We are here to meet you where you are.
Does OakHeart offer telehealth for infertility and pregnancy loss counseling? Yes. We offer telehealth services throughout Illinois. For many people navigating infertility or loss, the idea of leaving home and sitting in a waiting room can feel like too much. Telehealth allows you to access support from wherever feels most comfortable to you.
Click here to learn more about Generalized Anxiety Disorder (Worry)
Click here to learn more about Panic Disorder
Click here to learn more about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Click here to learn more about Depression
Click here to learn more about Grief and Bereavement
Click here to learn more about Insomnia
Click here to learn more about Panic Disorder
Click here to learn more about Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Click here to learn more about Depression
Click here to learn more about Grief and Bereavement
Click here to learn more about Insomnia
Infertility, Miscarriage, and Neonatal Loss Related Blogs:
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What is infertility and why do I need to be aware? Infertility is technically the inability to become pregnant after 1 year of unprotected, timed intercourse due to either female or male reproductive issues. However, let’s be a little more inclusive with this definition. It can also apply to those individuals who are able to achieve pregnancy consistently, but are unable to sustain that pregnancy to term. According to a survey by the CDC, 1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant or sustaining that pregnancy. This has become a far more widespread issue than most are aware. While some couples are able to treat their infertility through medication alone given through their general OB/GYN, many need to seek treatment through a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) at a specialized clinic...(to read more, click on the link above).
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If you are new to the concept of infertility or infertility treatment, this post is for you. Infertility is defined as a disease characterized by the failure to establish a clinical pregnancy after 12 months of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse or due to an impairment of a person’s capacity to reproduce either as an individual or with their partner. Infertility can also refer to a person’s inability to sustain a pregnancy to term. Not all couples have to wait the full year before seeking treatment, as there are other factors that can decrease that timeline. It’s important to understand that infertility is something that is far more common than most people think. 1 in 8 couples have difficulty getting pregnant or sustaining a pregnancy to term...(to read more, click on the link above).
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