Understanding Domestic Violence: Types, Warning Signs, and Resources

Understanding Domestic Violence: Types, Warning Signs, and Resources

Written by Alma Lazaro, MSW, LSW

Domestic violence is an ongoing global social issue that affects millions yearly. Domestic violence is defined as “a pattern of abusive behaviors used to gain or maintain power and control over someone." According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, it is estimated that 1 out of 3 women and 1 out of 4 men will experience domestic violence at some point in their lifetime. It is estimated that there is a higher risk for individuals who are non-binary or transgender; however, statistically, this goes underreported.

Domestic violence is often interchangeably referred to as intimate partner violence because domestic violence occurs in romantic relationships. However, abuse is something that can take place even within other intimate relationships, such as with family members.

Power and Control

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the power and control wheel was created to define and show the dynamics that take place within the power and control of a relationship. The inside of the wheel describes potential behaviors or tactics, and the outer ring represents the aspects of violence taking place. Although the wheel uses she/her pronouns, domestic violence can occur to anyone of all gender identities.

Types of Abuse

It is important to know the types of abuse that one can experience so that they can know the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship dynamic. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, the common types of abuse that can be seen in domestic violence include physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, and financial abuse.

Physical abuse

• Physical abuse is the type of abuse that most people commonly think of when someone refers to domestic violence. Physical abuse is defined as any form of repeated, unwanted, and purposeful behavior that is directed toward someone’s body with the intention of causing bodily harm.
• Examples of this can include choking, kicking, scratching, punching, biting, pulling of hair, pushing, strangling, and more. This can also include threatening or injuring someone with a physical object, such as a knife or gun. Physical abuse does not have to include severe injury to be considered abuse.
• Physical abuse perpetuates the power and control dynamic because it makes an individual fearful for their physical safety in the relationship, as well as if they were to leave a relationship. There are often threats of killing or seriously harming the person or their loved ones if they leave.

Sexual abuse

• There is a common misconception that a person in a committed relationship cannot experience sexual abuse. Oftentimes, sexual abuse comes from someone who the person knows. Sexual abuse is defined by behavior that pressures, coerces, or forces someone to do a sexual act that they do not want to do.
• Examples of this can include threatening or pressuring someone to have sex or perform sexual acts, unwelcomed touching or kissing, unwelcomed sexual activity, taking a condom off during sex without consent, and sexual insults directed towards a partner. Sexual abuse can maintain power and control because using force to control someone to do something they do not want to do makes a person feel powerless.
• Typically, sexual abuse causes significant fear. People will often think or be told it is “their fault” that something happened. The person who experienced sexual abuse is NEVER at fault.

Emotional/Verbal Abuse

• Abuse does not have to be physical to be considered abuse. Emotional abuse is defined by any form of non-physical behaviors that are intended to cause psychological harm to a person.
• Examples of this can include threatening, demanding, belittling, humiliating, isolating one from family and friends, and stalking. A common form of emotional abuse includes gaslighting, which is a form of manipulation. This includes persistent efforts to attempt to alter someone’s reality, which causes an individual to be unsure of their feelings or recollection of events.
• These events perpetuate power and control because a person perpetrating abuse creates a dynamic where a person is often questioning their reality or even their confidence. The person experiencing abuse can begin to believe that they are unworthy of love or an emotionally safe relationship.

Financial abuse

• This type of abuse is defined by a person limiting or restricting someone’s access to financial independence. This includes various levels of control.
• Examples of this can include not allowing someone to have a job, getting someone fired by constant harassment at the workplace, restricting access to bank accounts, hiding or stealing finances, and restricting someone's ability to have transportation or necessary work items to sustain a job.
• The way that financial abuse perpetuates the power and control dynamic is because if a person is unable to gain independence from someone who perpetuates abuse, they then can find themselves relying on the person to provide food, shelter, and water, which are all necessary for survival.

What Can I Do?

If you believe that you or a loved one are experiencing abuse, help is out there. It is never your fault, and you are not alone. There are domestic violence and sexual assault crisis centers that exist for the purpose of helping individuals who are experiencing abuse get to safety.

Domestic violence and sexual assault crisis centers can help provide a 24/7 crisis intervention hotline, shelter, legal advocacy, long-term transitional housing, case management, counseling, and community prevention education. At the end of the article, there will be a list of organizations that can help assist you in safety. However, if you or a loved one is in immediate danger, please call 911.

If you or a loved one has experienced abuse and are trying to find a way to cope with the effects of the traumatic events, therapy with someone who is trauma-informed can help process the events that have taken place. Therapy is a tool that exists to help you in your journey to healing. As Michelle Rosenthall once said, “Trauma creates change you DON’T choose. Healing is about creating change you DO choose.” Therapy can be about the change you choose.

Resources

If you or a loved one is in immediate danger, please call 911.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 800-799-7233
Text “START” to 88788
https://www.thehotline.org/

Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence
This resource will direct you to all providers in the state of Illinois that have a 24/7 crisis line.
https://www.ilcadv.org/get-help/

DeKalb County
Safe Passage
Call: 815-756-5228
Textline: 815-393-1995
https://safepassagedv.org/

Kane County
Community Crisis Center
Located in Elgin
Call: 847-697-2380
Call (Spanish): 847-697-9740
https://www.crisiscenter.org/

Mutual Ground
Located in Aurora
Call (Domestic violence): 630-897-0080
Call (Sexual violence): 630-897-8383
https://mutualground.org/contact

Ogle County
HOPE of Ogle County
Located in Rochelle
Call: 815-562-8890
https://hopedv.org/

Lee County
YMCA of the Sauk Valley
Call: 815-288-1011
Call: 815-626-7277
https://www.ywsauk.org/crisis-services

Resources:
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
https://www.justice.gov/ovw/domestic-violence
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/domestic-abuse-transgender-non-binary-survivors/#:~:text=Approximately%2022.5%25%20of%20trans%20women,of%2014.2%25%20of%20LGBTQ%2B%20survivors.
https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/understand-relationship-abuse/
https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ping-Zheng-17/publication/276501495_Provision_of_Evidence-Based_Therapies_to_Rural_Survivors_of_Domestic_Violence_and_Sexual_Assault_via_Telehealth_Treatment_Outcomes_and_Clinical_Training_Benefits/links/561a6eaa08aea8036722b3b9/Provision-of-Evidence-Based-Therapies-to-Rural-Survivors-of-Domestic-Violence-and-Sexual-Assault-via-Telehealth-Treatment-Outcomes-and-Clinical-Training-Benefits.pdf
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/15248380211038690
https://www.cell.com/heliyon/pdf/S2405-8440(20)32177-0.pdf
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4768593/

If you are interested in counseling, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.