Dealing with Political and Societal Uncertainty

10/25/2020

Dealing with Political and Societal Uncertainty

Written by Hillary Gorin, PhD, LCP

Regardless of your political views, your understanding of the impact of COVID-19, or your beliefs about societal injustices, nearly every U.S. citizen is experiencing stress, uncertainty, and worry. Worry is an important cognitive function, as it helps humans solve problems effectively, plan for the future, and remain motivated. We may worry about solvable problems and, at other times, unsolvable problems. When we worry about solvable problems, we often find a solution and can put the concerns behind us. However, when we worry about unsolvable problems or problems that extend beyond our control, we can find it difficult to know what to do with the uncertainty. With an immense desire to solve an unsolvable problem, we can fall into what I like to call the ‘worry cycle’ or the ‘hamster wheel of worry.’ Our minds go around and around, searching for answers we cannot seem to find. So, how do you get off this hamster wheel? How do you accept uncertainty, particularly during these times of social unrest, political turmoil, and a terrifying pandemic?

Many may think, ‘I will just reassure myself!’ or ‘Everything is going to be fine.’ Alternatively, many try to distract from or avoid the worry. For some, this strategy may be effective. For others, the worry persists, early in the morning, late in the evening, while watching the presidential debate, while scrolling through social media, while reading about COVID-19, while obsessively searching for polling predictions. The worry persists, even though you say, “Hey brain, everything is just fine.”

Why don’t our brains listen to this self-reassurance? Why is it challenging for some, especially now, to believe that everything will be ok? Because the reality is, many of us have never faced risks/ threats of this magnitude before. These current threats are present and lingering in the background every day. Compared to various other points in our lives, the political unrest and looming pandemic have increased the chances that something bad could happen to us. Thus, no matter how hard we try to find evidence against our worries, we can’t find clear evidence that disproves our worry completely. So, worries propel through our minds, such as, ‘What if my loved one gets COVID? What if I lose my job? What if that candidate becomes president? What if social injustice persists?’ These are all possible, scary outcomes due to current, omnipresent stressors.

So, if reassurance and looking for evidence that everything will be ok does not work, how do we get these catastrophic thoughts out of our heads? One possibility is a technique called decatastrophizing. Decatastrophizing involves considering whether or not you could find ways to cope in the face of a feared outcome (Zinbarg et al., 2006). This technique assists us with changing our thinking from, ‘I could never cope if that happened’ to ‘This would be difficult, but I would find a way to cope.’ This could appear as asking yourself, ‘Will I survive this election?” The answer is – yes, you will, even if things don’t go the way you are hoping. Asking, ‘Will I survive this’ helps us see that the threat we are facing is not as imminent as it feels. In other words, we are not in imminent danger all the time, despite how these political, societal, and health crises may make us feel.

So why does your brain make you feel like you are facing an imminent risk while watching a debate from the comfort of your couch? Studies suggest that the area of the brain involved in detecting threat, the amygdala, is triggered by certain thoughts, certain worries, and uncertainty (Hilbert et al., 2014). Decatastrophizing can be an initial step to telling that part of the brain that it can settle down. Instead of telling ourselves, ‘I will never manage to live through this,’ we can say, ‘I don’t like the world right now but I will probably be able to find a way to live in it.’

The next important step can be considering how you would actually cope with certain feared outcomes. This can be accomplished by considering what specific coping strategies could help you manage the situation. For example, if you lose your job, what steps would you take to manage it? For some, a coping strategy could be updating your resume and looking for job opportunities.

Of course, this thought of losing your job will undoubtedly bring up anxiety, which brings me to another suggestion that I propose for most of my patients: The more we can start to accept uncertainty and sit with it, the less we will be propelled to continue running on the hamster wheel of worry. Sitting with anxiety is challenging and specific techniques are best applied with the assistance of a licensed mental health professional. However, beginning to allow yourself to feel anxiety, to ride the wave, and to let it come up and come down is important for everyone because we must see that we can tolerate anxiety, that it won’t last forever, and that we do not need to fear this emotion. Instead, anxiety/ fear is a critical emotion that keeps us alive. In life threatening situations, these emotions tell us when we are in danger. For example, many people experience anxiety and fear when they stand too close to the edge of a mountain. This anxiety/fear is normal and adaptive to keep us alive, as it prompts us to take a step back! However, sometimes we have this anxiety/fear in situations that are not life threatening, as our brains are mistakenly telling us that our lives are at risk. When there is nothing to act on immediately and when the worry is unsolvable, sitting with the anxiety and accepting that one person cannot eliminate our current health crisis or our political and social unrest, is important. Sitting with anxiety can be as simple as accepting the possibility of your feared outcome occurring. It may or it may not come true.

Many ask me, ‘Why doesn’t avoidance/ distraction work? Isn’t that what we learn at an early age?’ Yes, distraction and avoidance are useful, at times, particularly when our anxiety is in the low to moderate range. When we are feeling slightly worried or anxious, watching a funny movie, participating in relaxing activities, or taking a walk tends to help reduce our physical and psychological tension. However, when our anxiety becomes too high, our amygdala, or that threat detector in our brain, is on high alert. This threat detector acts quickly and efficiently, without much input from logical thinking or what are considered, ‘executive functions’ (LeDoux, 2000). Why? Because, in the face of a threat, we need to act quickly. We do not have time to think. Imagine if you are in the woods and you see a bear on the trail! Your first reaction will be fight, flight (run away), or freeze (hide and hope that you are not seen). You likely will not be able to think through the situation logically. In these situations, our amygdala or ‘emotional brain’ holds our ‘thinking/ cognitive brain’ hostage so that we can act on instinct, automatically (Okon-Singer et al., 2015)! So, when politics, health crises, and societal unrest trigger high levels of anxiety, our brain tells us to fight, flight, or freeze. When you tell it to ‘calm down,’ ‘chill out,’ ‘distract yourself,’ ‘Look at all the evidence you will be fine,’ our amygdala tells us ‘NO WAY!’ It believes it still has work to do to keep us safe.

Thus, I will again emphasize the importance of sitting with anxiety when we can, or with the help of a licensed mental health professional when we cannot. We need to let the anxiety peak and come down so that our logical, thinking brain can take back control! ‘Sit with it’ is a phrase my patients hear often because if you don’t sit with the anxiety and see that you will survive it, see you will cope with it, and see that it will not last forever, the ‘hamster wheel of worry’ can become very exhausting and self-doubt can grow. It is possible that your fears will come true. However, I am confident that you will find a way to survive and to cope with whatever comes your way.

If you're feeling like you need a little more help navigating through worry call or email us today to schedule an appointment to speak with a clinician. Take a look at our provider page for a full list on all clinicians that treat anxiety disorders.

References

Hillbert, K., Lueken, U., & Beesdo-Baum, K. (2014). Neural structures, functioning and
connectivity in generalized anxiety disorder and interaction with neuroendocrine systems:
A systematic review. Journal of Affective Disorder, 158, 114-126. http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2014.01.022

LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Emotion circuits in the brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 23(1),
155-184. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.neuro.23.1.155

Zinbarg, R. E., Craske, M. G., & Barlow, D. H. (2006). Mastery of Your Anxiety and Worry:
Therapist Guide (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

The Healing Power of Creativity

10/18/2020

The Healing Power of Creativity

Written by Pam Heilman, PsyD, LCP

This year has undoubtedly been one of the most stressful, scary, challenging times for many individuals. As a trained psychologist, I frequently discuss the importance of self-care with clients and my colleagues. Self-care refers to any act in which you are taking care of yourself. This can include tending to your basic needs: showering, brushing your teeth, exercising, eating healthy meals, attending therapy, taking medication as prescribed, and getting regular physicals. Self-care also consists of engaging in activities that bring you relaxation or joy: meditation, spending time in nature, taking a hot bath, having a spa day, listening to music or podcasts, singing, or snuggling with your pet.

One aspect of self-care I regularly explore with clients is engaging in creativity. Have you ever found yourself so interested or engrossed in a particular activity that you lost track of time and became extremely focused on the task at hand? This is what Mihaly Csikszentamihalyi, one of the founders of Positive Psychology, would refer to as “flow” in his 1990 book, Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience.

As Csikzentamihalyi described it, flow is “a state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience is so enjoyable that people will continue to do it even at great cost for the sheer sake of doing it.” Many people refer to this as being “in the zone” which happens when there is a balance between challenge and skill level. So, what are some of the reasons that flow might be so helpful? According to Arne Dietrich (2004), flow has been associated with decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex (in Oppland, 2020). This is the area of the brain that is responsible for executive function, or organization of thoughts and actions in accordance with internal goals. As Dietrich (2004) suggests, this temporary inactivation may trigger feelings of distortion of time and loss of self-consciousness (in Oppland, 2020).

Perhaps the idea of flow has been catching on in more recent years. Many local businesses such as Pinot’s Palette, Chilled Palette, Bleu Palette, Board and Brush, Arts on Fire, and Color Me Mine have become popular for gathering with friends or for a date night. Businesses like these offer workshops where you can learn how to paint on a canvas, paint pottery, or even stain and paint a bench or wooden sign to decorate your home.

As a psychologist I like to practice what I preach. I had my first experience with painting acrylic on canvas several years ago with a group of friends at Pinot’s Palette. I was surprised by the amount of joy I experienced that night. Ever since then, I began attending more workshops and tried different types of projects. During the quarantine, I stocked up on painting supplies (acrylic paints, canvases, an easel, and brushes) from Michael’s. I began trying to set aside time every week to paint something new. In spite of the increased stressors during this difficult time, I have found my painting to be an amazing source of comfort and pride. I’m working on my skill level but what is more important to me is that I can create something with a blank canvas and just a few tools. I make myself a nice cup of coffee, put on some of my favorite music, have my basset hound close by, and I am content.

My hope is that I can help my clients to find something that gives them a sense of passion or purpose to help them get into their “flow” state of mind. It doesn’t have to involve creating art. This can be anything that you are so interested in that you are able to focus solely on the task and lose yourself in the moment. Think writing, playing an instrument, gardening, yoga, working with tools, putting together a jigsaw puzzle, doing crossword puzzles or sudoku. Feel free to try different things to see what you like. It took me quite some time to stumble upon painting but I am so glad I was willing to try different activities to get there. I’d like to share some of the artwork I have done in recent months. These pieces are filled with imperfections but they are mine and I am proud of them.

“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul.” ~ Dieter F. Uchtdorf

If you'd like to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians call (630) 570-0050 or email [email protected].

For more blogs on self-care written by OakHeart clinicians, read Surviving Social Distancing or Practice Self-Care.

Resources:
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper & Row, 1990
Oppland, M. (2020, January 9). 8 Ways to Create Flow according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Positive Psychology.com. Retrieved from: https://positivepsychology.com/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi-father-of-flow/

Fighting Fair

10/4/2020

Fighting Fair

Written by Brittany Male, LCSW, CADC

This is a stressful time for so many of us. Between social distancing, changes at work, a new and unique start to the school year, and the political climate, we’re all navigating through a lot of stressors. The stress that we feel, impacts those around us, including our partners. If you or your partner have been struggling to communicate in a productive way, take a moment to read these tips for fighting fair that you can start practicing today.

Identify why you’re upset. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “The first step, is admitting you have a problem”, well this tip is similar. You have to be able to identify clearly, why it is you’re upset. It is important to be self-aware regarding what you’re really upset about. If you’re really upset about a cup being left on the counter then fine, but if you’re feeling resentful about not feeling appreciated for the work you do, then that is what the conversation needs to be about. The cup is only acting as a representative of the real issue. If you only bring up the cup to your partner, it has the likelihood of being dismissed as a minor issue.

Focus on one topic at a time. Although it may seem that an argument is an opportune time to bring up the list of other things that have been bothering you--it is important to focus on one topic at a time. If you start to add other things, it can get overwhelming and confusing for the other person as well as yourself. This confusion, can lead to misunderstandings and further frustration with limited ability to resolve anything.

Be aware of language used. Name calling. put-downs. swearing. These are all elements that do NOT have a place in a fight. Offending the other person will not accomplish the goal to find resolution. It is very hard to move forward in a healthy way once these are used, because the other person may be navigating through additional feelings of hurt as a result. The result may be a shift in focus away from the actual issue. This contributes to a lack of trust and safety and negatively impact the ability for resolution.

Express feelings in words and take accountability for them. If you have a hard time identifying your emotions or think that you only have three (happy, sad, angry), then it may be time to do some feelings work individually. We have a plethora of emotions and although they generally fall into these three categories (happy, sad, angry), it’s important to be specific about your feelings, in order to find the most effective solution.

Take turns talking. In order for a resolution to be made, you both must be able to share your thoughts and feelings. Remind yourself of your goal. If your goal is to be right instead of to find a resolution, then I would encourage you to evaluate your values within your relationship. If your goal is to find a resolution, then make sure to listen to your partner. It may seem silly, but using a talking stick or object can help in order to take turns talking. Sometimes we need physical reminders because they can help us stay accountable to the goal.

No Stonewalling. If you haven’t heard of stonewalling, it is as it seems...you create a wall between yourself and your partner. This may mean you stop responding if they're talking or you may physically leave the room in the middle of the conflict with no indication of when you’ll return. It shouldn’t come as any surprise that doing this does not help to resolve the conflict. If you’re guilty of stonewalling in difficult conflicts, it may be helpful to begin utilizing timeouts with your partner. They do not involve ghosting your partner, but instead allow you to take a necessary break and return to the conversation at a designated time.

No yelling. Self disclosure here, I’m loud. I’m Italian and Puerto Rican and I speak passionately. When I’m happy I can get loud, when I’m sad I can get loud, and when I’m angry it is likely that I can get loud. Growing up, my family often dealt with conflict by getting loud. Because of my 'loudness', I try to be aware when I’m becoming loud and ask myself if it’s productive or counterproductive as well as what the comfort level is of those around me. Most of the time, it is counterproductive and leads to more conflict. Because of this, I attempt to avoid resolving conflict by yelling and encourage others to do the same.

Take a timeout if needed. Using timeouts effectively involves discussing the timeout prior to a conflict. Below are some simple guidelines when discussing timeouts with your partner.
- Have a signal (verbal or tangible) for the use of a timeout so that both you and your partner can easily recognize that the other person would like or is needing a timeout to be taken.
- Discuss and agree on situations that may require a timeout.
- Clarify what the timeout means. An example may be: We will each get physical space from each other and finish the conversation after 30 minutes.
- Confirm a commitment to utilize the timeout as agreed upon.
- Define what the purpose of the timeout will be. (self-care, calming, reflection)
- Revisiting the initial conflict.

Attempt to come to a compromise if needed. If I notice that I'm rigid in my way of thinking in an argument I ask myself, where am I willing to compromise? This compromise may look differently for each conflict, but it can be a helpful question to ask yourself in order to find resolution. You can maintain your truth while also compromising.

I’m hopeful that you are able to utilize these tips the next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner or anyone in your life. Again, if you’re finding that you need more support, call (630) 570-0050 or email [email protected] to schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians. Relationships can be challenging, especially when there are so many external stressors that are out of our control. The key is knowing that you’re not alone and you can utilize help.

You've got this.