Before we begin explaining ways to move past trauma experiences, I think it is important to first go through and better understand what trauma is, and the various events that it can present from. 

For those who do not know what trauma is, it is the result of an extraordinarily stressful event that usually involves a threat to life or safety. After experiencing a traumatic event, it can leave the individual feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust others. It may also leave you feeling overwhelmed and cause you to begin to isolate yourself from others.

Trauma can come from a one time event, or it can be from recurring events that continually cause significant distress. When researching trauma and ways to heal,  it was an eye-opening experience to learn about the statistics. We are talking approximately 70% of American adults report at least one traumatic event, and two-thirds of children experience trauma before the age of 16. Of that, 20% will go on to develop Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Something not talked about nearly enough is military trauma. About 1 in 4 veterans have been diagnosed with a mental health condition, such as PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

If trauma is not properly dealt with and managed it can then go on and become one of the leading factors in the development in various behavioral and substance use disorders. Trauma comes in many forms, most individuals associate trauma with emotional, physical, or even sexual abuse. However, trauma can also be caused from loss (death) of a loved one, divorce or the end of a long term relationship (your own, or parents), being a victim of bullying, military, war, combat, experiencing domestic violence, child neglect, natural disasters, accidents (i.e., car accident), etc.. 

Trauma can affect mental health in various ways, it can contribute, as mentioned earlier, to the development of PTSD, abuse of substances, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), or suicide. 

It is important to seek out and find a therapist that can provide you with the proper care and treatment needed to begin working through and healing from your trauma. When I work with clients, I find it is important to consistently provide education on trauma and the various forms it can take. There is no right or wrong way to think, feel, or react when it comes to trauma. It is important for my clients to understand that their individual responses are normal reactions to an traumatic event. 
 
Symptoms individuals may experience due to their experience with a traumatic event can range from denial, anger, mood swings, isolation, feeling disconnected from any and all emotions, insomnia or hypersomnia, difficulty concentrating on the simplest of tasks, restlessness, and feeling on edge. You may also experience nightmares, flashbacks, and finding yourself to be easily triggered. 

Now, for the answer to the most common question, “How can we begin to heal from trauma?”  When it comes to healing and moving past your trauma, we first have to understand that in order to move past it, we have to first unpack and go through all the heavy stuff. This is necessary for many people in order to be able to get to a place where an individual can begin to move forward and lead a happier life without their past traumas holding them back. Not everyone will fit perfectly into one category. For some, they may need more intensive treatment (i.e., group therapy) while others may only need individual outpatient therapy, while another individual may need medication in addition to therapy to help support to help them.  *disclaimer* always consult a psychiatrist or other medical professional should you want to explore the possibility of adding any form of psychotropic medication. 

When working with clients I make sure my clients are actively working on these select areas while we process and unpack their trauma. 

TIP #1 Experiencing a traumatic event can cause disruption to the body's natural equilibrium. So to repair the body, we have to get ourselves moving. This can be as small as exercise/walking for 30 minutes daily. Exercise that is rhythmic that engages both arms and legs is best as this requires your focus and attention on moving your body in certain directions. These types of exercises include but are not limited to, rock climbing, boxing, martial arts, and weight training. 

TIP #2 It is important to NOT isolate. Withdrawing and isolating from others will make symptoms worse in the long run. Remember, surrounding yourself with support from loved ones does not require you to always talk about the trauma; being surrounded by others is the comfort that may be needed to not feel alone. Remember you are in charge of who you feel comfortable talking to when it comes to processing and sharing the experience. It is important to find someone who will listen attentively and without judgment. This is where seeking a therapist can be helpful. Not isolating can also look like joining a support group for trauma survivors. This often will help reduce a sense of isolation and feeling alone, where you will be met with others who understand the emotions and feelings that you may be experiencing and help to normalize the process.  

TIP #3 Regulate your nervous system. While in therapy your counselor will work on teaching you how to utilize and implement helpful tools such as grounding techniques or mindfulness skills. This can look like diaphragmatic breathing, sensory input/identification, journaling, yoga, guided meditations, and importantly allowing yourself to feel the feelings as they present themselves. Making sure you are getting an appropriate amount of sleep, and eating a well balanced diet is important while working through trauma, as well as making time for hobbies or other activities that bring you joy (e.g., coloring, reading, knitting). 

TIP #4 Learn how to identify your triggers. A trigger is a stimulus that elicits a reaction. Some examples of triggers can look like hearing certain sounds, sights, particular smells, or tastes related to the trauma. Hearing loud voices or yelling, being in the vicinity of loud noises, witnessing someone having an argument are other examples. While working diligently with your therapist, you will learn about your own trauma triggers in more detail, what may set them off, as well as ways to manage when you do feel triggered. By having a better understanding this will help you learn how to create healthy and appropriate boundaries and a healthier relationship with those triggers.

​If you are interested in counseling for trauma, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.

Have you ever noticed how frequently our responses to the question “how have you been” involve variations of “staying busy”? What about hearing someone talk through a large list of things they currently have going on in their life? For many of us, our reactions involve shock (that one person could manage all of those items) and admiration. We have learned to admire those who don’t seem to have a minute to themselves. This is exactly what is meant by “glorification of busyness.”

As a society, we have been encouraged to be active participants in every aspect of our lives. We are to work hard and excel in our chosen field or profession, be fully present and active in our families, train and care for our pets in their every need, eat healthy, exercise, have a spotless home, on and on it goes. The reality of this encouragement is that it is simply not possible. No one person can accomplish all of these feats without significant sacrifice in one or more other areas. Being stretched in so many different directions at once can result in problems one way or another.

With these impossible standards before us, how do you go about achieving any form of balance?  How do you decide what to keep and what to decrease or decline completely?  

Consider some or all of these questions, they may help you narrow it down:

What is important to you?
Does it align with your personal values? (I recommend this worksheet for clarifying your values)
What is a current priority and why?
Are you the only one who can take care of this?
Does this need to happen right now or can it wait?
If this is something you have enjoyed in the past, is that still the case?
When you close your eyes and think of the best possible scenario, what does balance look like for you (and your family)?

This is not an easy process to do, but it can be very worthwhile to help you modify some of your expectations for yourself and others.

​If you are interested in counseling, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.

What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder?
Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition in which an individual is preoccupied with a perceived defect in his or her appearance. This preoccupation causes significant distress and/or impairs functioning. Often the perceived flaw is unnoticeable to others. An important distinction between BDD and body image concerns is the amount of preoccupation and disruption in an individual’s functioning. People with BDD generally spend at least an hour a day thinking about their perceived defect and in the average case, the individual spends between 3 and 8 hours per day. Additionally, they engage in avoidance and/or compulsive behaviors in an effort to alleviate anxiety about their appearance. Current studies suggest that millions of people in the U.S. alone have BDD (Phillips, 2005).

Underdiagnosis of BDD
BDD can be difficult to diagnose for many reasons. Body image and appearance concerns are common. In a recent survey of 30,000 people in the United States, findings suggested that 93% of women and 82% of men care about their appearance and work to improve it (as cited in Phillips, 2005). When people express concerns about their appearance, this may be overlooked since it is a common problem in our culture. Worries about being seen as vain, drawing more attention to the perceived defect, and receiving reassurance that one’s appearance is fine are other reasons BDD is underdiagnosed. Although reassuring comments are typically well-meaning, individuals with BDD may feel that their concerns are dismissed as foolish or invalid (Phillips, 2005).  

How does BDD impact functioning?
People with BDD commonly become preoccupied with perceived problems with their appearance such as their hair, skin, and nose. They may worry about acne, scarring, wrinkles, thinning hair or having a large nose. To ease their distress, they engage in avoidance and compulsive behaviors. BDD frequently causes problems in interpersonal relationships and social activities. Individuals with BDD tend to miss school, work or in more severe cases may drop out of school or become unemployed (Phillips, 2005). The most serious consequence is suicide. In a study consisting of more than 500 patients, 80% of people with BDD endorsed suicidal thoughts and 14% reported they attempted suicide because of BDD (Phillips, 2005). Many individuals seek unnecessary cosmetic surgery and dermatologic treatment. While people with regular body image concerns may be happy with the result, individuals with BDD are typically dissatisfied with the outcome and blame themselves or the doctor (Phillips, 2005).

Therapy Recommendations
Currently, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the best-studied and most recommended form of treatment for BDD. This therapy approach consists of the following techniques: cognitive restructuring, response (ritual) prevention, behavioral experiments, and exposures. Cognitive restructuring involves helping clients to identify and challenge thinking errors regarding appearance concerns. The goal of response (ritual) prevention is to identify compulsive behaviors such as excessive grooming and mirror-checking. The clinician will assist with stopping unhelpful behaviors and help the client develop normal amounts of necessary behaviors such as grooming. Behavioral experiments involve designing and carrying out experiments to test out BDD beliefs. For example, if the belief is “Everyone will stare at me in horror if I go out in public without make-up,” an individual might go to the grocery store without make-up and collect evidence for and against this belief.  Exposures consist of gradually facing situations that are typically avoided.

Medication considerations
Numerous research studies have demonstrated that serotonin-reuptake inhibitors (also known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) substantially improve BDD symptoms in a majority of people (Phillips, 2005). SRIs are a type of antidepressant medication that can also help to diminish obsessional thinking and compulsive behaviors (Phillips, 2005). Examples of these medications include: citalopram (Celexa), escitalopram (Lexapro), fluvoxamine (Luvox) and fluoxetine (Prozac). According to the International OCD Foundation, there are no medications that currently have FDA approval for treatment of BDD. However, research and clinical experience suggest these medications are safe and effective for most individuals who have BDD. Individuals diagnosed with BDD may benefit from working with a psychiatrist who specializes in BDD to determine whether to add medication to the treatment protocol.

Treatment outcome
Studies have suggested improvement in many aspects of BDD and related symptoms after CBT treatment. Some of the areas include: a reduction in obsessive thoughts and BDD rituals, reduced depressive symptoms, improved insight, body image, and self-esteem and decreased social anxiety (Phillips, 2005).

​If you are interested in counseling for Body Dysmorphic Disorder, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.

References

Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation (n.d.). Information. https://bddfoundation.org/information/

International OCD Foundation (n.d.). Medication Treatment for BDD: FAQ. https://bdd.iocdf.org/expert-opinions/medication-faq/

Phillips, K.A. (2005). The Broken Mirror. Oxford University Press, Inc.

Wilhelm, S., Phillips, K.A., & Steketee, G. (2013). Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Body Dysmorphic Disorder. The Guilford Press.

Welcome to the month of Men’s Health! This week of June 12-18 is particularly focused on discussing men’s health and ways to support men in improving quality of life across all domains: mental health, physical health, social health, spiritual health, financial health. 
 
Men’s mental health is everyone’s responsibility. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, ”the rate of suicide is highest in middle aged white men. In 2021, men died by suicide 3.90x more than women. White males accounted for 69.68% of suicide deaths in 2021.” This sobering statistic offers an opportunity to openly discuss suicide prevention and the mental health struggles that can plague men in silence. 

Language is important. How we talk about suicide and mental health in general is significant to reducing the stigma and by default, increasing the likelihood that men will reach out for much deserved help. Some all too common phrases to avoid when discussing suicide and mental health are: “he committed suicide,” “suicide is selfish,” “he’s crazy/bipolar/lazy,” and “he’s a drunk/drug addict.” Instead, try to make a conscious effort to say “he is really struggling” and “he died by suicide.” Some questions to ask or think about instead of the aforementioned unhelpful phrases can be: “why does he drink or abuse substances?” and “how can I support him during this difficult time?”

Sometimes, when mental health is impacted, the other domains - physical health, social health, financial health, and spiritual health - are also negatively impacted. And other times, these other domains, when unmet, create for poorer mental health.

Men, it’s OK to not be OK. Please know that you are worthy of care and support. With that knowledge, allow it to help you make the courageous choice to reach out for support and professional help. 

Here are some resources to address mental health concerns and financial health concerns:

• Crisis Text Line: text 741741
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: dial 988
• Support Group (18+) for Survivors of Suicide Attempts @ Suicide Prevention Services in Batavia: call 630-482-9699 or email [email protected]. 
• Survivors of Suicide Support Group in Aurora, Illinois: call 630-482-9699 or email [email protected]. Meets on the third Monday of each month @ 905 N. Edgelawn Dr., Aurora, IL from 7-9 PM.
• SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
• NATIONAL PROBLEM GAMBLING HELPLINE call or text 1-800-GAMBLER. 
• Check out our Mental Health Resources page for more Info

Here are some ideas to explore and connect to spiritual, physical, and social health: (*prior to engaging in physical activity, please consult with your primary care physician to obtain medical clearance for physical activity): 

• practice yoga,
• journal - the pen and paper kind,
• spend time outdoors and in nature,
• spend time with a pet,
• spend time outdoors with a friend,
• connect to a faith community,
• pick up a new, healthy hobby - create, draw, paint, build, etc. 

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” - Brene Brown.

​If you are interested in counseling, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.

As a practicing therapist, I have learned over the years that it isn’t necessarily about what we know, but more about who we are. That very piece of knowledge…who we are…not only inspires me and drives my passion, but also is exactly what I strive to include in everything I do in my current practice. 

Question is…how do we get there?

Well, in my experience, it is the willingness of the therapist to seek support when needed, to do the inner work, to explore their limits/biases/fears, and to process personal traumas in order to remain present centered during work with clients. The self-awareness that comes from our own inner work is the key to laying a strong foundation for an incredible therapeutic relationship. 

“The essence of working with another person is to be present as a living being. And that is lucky, because if we had to be smart, or good, or mature, or wise, then we would probably be in trouble. But, what matters is not that. What matters is to be a human being with another human being, to recognize the other person as another being in there." —Gene Gendlin

Keeping in mind, therapists are human too…living everyday lives like our clients, experiencing ups and downs, raising children, maintaining responsibilities, managing stressors, living healthy lifestyles, and dealing with unexpected traumatic events of our own. We do all of this simultaneously while caring for others. And if we aren’t mindful about maintaining balance as well as our own self-care needs, it will eventually lead to burnout and/or challenges in remaining present with our clients during session. Which is why we absolutely must pay attention to our own support needs and not hesitate to reach out for guidance when needed. 

I would also like to pass on a few tips for therapists, especially those working with trauma clients, that were shared with me when completing an online training. These tips come from Guy Macpherson, PhD and his work with The Trauma Therapist Project.

1. Breathe and relax: Simple? Yes. However, its effects cannot be overstated. It helps increase our level of awareness and thus our ability to more ably adjust and shift with regards to interventions if need be.
2. Remember the client in front of us is a person...with feelings, emotions, needs, wants, desires, and who, if not now, then at one time, has laughed and still needs love and connection.
3. Listen more than you talk.
4. Help the client explore their strengths, what excites them, and those moments in their lives during which they felt empowered. Then help them solidify that feeling of empowerment by asking them to reside in that feeling and then linking it to a thought, emotion or action.
5. Check your own issues at the door and be conscious of whose problems you’re working on in the session, yours or the client’s: this refers back to #1.
6. Great things to say or ask: What do you notice happening in your body? Notice (without verbalizing) what happens next? (when asking the client to respond to a question, or after the client has made a statement, or after asking the client to reflect on a feeling).
7. Take off your clinical hat and be you: I know this is a tough one, but I was once advised that it was okay to remove my clinical hat as it often helps to bridge the chasm between us and our clients. Try it. It’s freeing and it helps us engage more effectively.
8. Notice where the client is along the often-blurred healing continuum of stabilization, processing, and integration and as a result, what the client needs.
9. Leave your own agenda at the door: This takes practice, sometimes feels as if we’re without our tool-kit, but ultimately enables us to engage more genuinely as we are less wedded to our ideas of what we should be doing. It is important for us to remember that our sessions are not solely a platform for us as therapists to highlight our newest interventions.
10. When you’re stuck, review numbers 1-9.

If you are interested in counseling or Therapy for Therapists, call OakHeart at 630-570-0050 or 779-201-6440 or email us at [email protected]. We have counselors, psychologists, and social workers available to help you at one of our locations in North Aurora, IL, Sycamore, IL, and/or via Telehealth Online Therapy Services serving Kane County, DeKalb County, Dupage County, and beyond.