The Other Side of the Dressing Room: 7 Lessons on Body Image from a Retail Worker’s Perspective

2/26/2021

The Other Side of the Dressing Room: 7 Lessons on Body Image from a Retail Worker’s Perspective

My name is Megan Allegretti, and I am a counselor at OakHeart, Center for Counseling. I specializes in working with individuals who experience distorted eating patterns. Before becoming a mental health provider I worked in different fields, including a retail clothing store.

It’s wild to look back through the lens of understanding Eating Disorders and see how misleading the retail clothing industry can be, and is designed to be. I worked with and sold clothes to predominantly female identifying individuals. I know that female identifying individuals are not the only ones who experience unrealistic messages and pressures around body image. Diet culture does not discriminate. But it is important to note the lens through which I am writing through.

Here are seven lessons on body image I learned from working retail:

1) Mannequins Lie

Mannequins are not designed to represent the bodies of the people who will be purchasing the items! They are designed to present the clothing and perpetuate an image of fiercely unrealistic body types and diet culture. Guess what: most people are not 6 ft tall and don't exist exclusively in nonchalant modeling positions. And the only way those clothes fall perfectly on the mannequin is because of an absurd amount of tucking, pinning, and shape shifting to the garment itself. It was truly more of an art piece with fabric as the medium, not accurately reflecting how the clothing was created or could possibly be worn on bodies. I would hear women want to look like the mannequins and blame themselves for not looking the same, when that was an unrealistic expectation to begin with. This illusion fueled individuals to blame themselves for not looking a certain way or having a very specific body structure.

2) Size Does Not Mean S**t

The specific store that I worked for showcased many different designers. I would try on clothing that were new to the store so I would know how to communicate them to the customers. Depending on who was making the product my size would range SIX sizes! Let that set in- six sizes difference between different designers. And it was not my body that was changing shape. I noticed some people had strong reactions when having to shift sizes based on designers. Some were either happy that they were going down a size, or upset going up, perpetuating fat phobia that is marketed to us from diet culture! Your body, and happiness within your skin is not defined by how others make their clothing. What the size on the label says does not measure your worth.

3) Privilege Comes to Smaller Bodied Individuals

Let’s acknowledge the privilege that comes to people who live in smaller bodies. They are marketed clothing to, they are showcased in ads for the clothing, they are photographed wearing the clothing, the mannequins in the stores most represent their bodies, and designers make more options of clothing for them. I know this list can go on even further. More recently there have been initiatives to stop photoshopping models, so we as the consumer have a more reasonable expectation for what clothing looks like on real people. There have been more size inclusive mannequins used to promote body sizes that represent the population more accurately. The fashion industry started including more inclusive size ranges when making clothing. We are seeing a shift in inclusion, and that should be celebrated! But it is also acceptable to recognize there is a lasting impact on the privilege that was already set in place. Time and continued changes to the industry standards are important in dismantling one specific idealized body image.

4) Clothing Is A Form of Self Expression

Clothing can be the medium of expression for who you are! There is so much room for creativity that comes with presenting yourself in an authentic way. I saw many customers who struggled when an ‘on trend’ style was looking different on their body than what they had in their head. What I noticed was it was because that was not really their style, it was not in-line with who they were. They were playing into what they thought they should be wearing, versus what they actually wanted to wear. When I saw people who dressed authentically to their style it was remarkable to see how different they carried themselves in the world.

5) Buy for where Your Body Is Now

I cannot even begin to tell you about the amount of times I would be working with someone who would purchase a size of clothing that was not fitting their body at that moment. And I am guilty of previously engaging in this behavior too! You have a ‘goal piece’ of clothing, and this item is your motivation to change your current body shape. This is not helpful! Clothing should not be a punishment for you. By buying clothes that do not fit properly it dismantles accepting and appreciating your body. If the size of your clothing upsets you, cut out the tag and you do not have to look at it. It is so much nicer on your body to put it in clothes that fit it, and you feel comfortable in.

6) Comments on Expressions Versus Fit

There is so much emphasis on women to look a certain way, based on what diet culture markets to us. This leads to comments on how a body looks and not how someone feels in the clothing. I heard a multitude of unhealthy body comparisons speak in the dressing room. How negative it was that their bodies looked different than the unrealistic one that is marketed to us. I offer the following as a shift in perspective: instead of commenting on how you look in the clothing, comment on how you feel wearing the clothes. How happy, comfortable, empowered, or authentic you feel in the clothing. This small change can shift the focus off how we ‘should’ look versus how we feel in clothing.

7) You Are Worth More Than Your Clothes

We have come so far in the world of body positivity, but we still have a long way to go. Remember that your clothes are there to make you feel better about yourself, and if they are not fitting or bringing negative thoughts out, get rid of them. You are worth so much more than your clothes. Your worth comes from who you are and not how you look. Diet culture likes to place it the other way around to sell us products we don’t need. But we don’t have to listen to those messages. You are worthy exactly where you are at, and in the body you are in.

These are some of the lessons that I learned about body image from working retail. I thought that it would be good to share them with you this week as we end National Eating Disorder Awareness week. Body image is just one component of distorted eating patterns. By becoming aware of the unhealthy messages around body image that are portrayed to us, we can then challenge our own unhealthy thoughts and the culture around one specific idealized body shape. My goal for you is to treat your body like a home. Create a place for you that feels comfortable, and is an expression of who you are.

If you or someone you love is struggling with body image concerns and could benefit from therapy, please call 630-570-0050 or email us at [email protected].

Mindfulness: During the Pandemic and Beyond

2/22/2021

Mindfulness: During The Pandemic and Beyond

Written by Lindsay Tobin, PsyD, LCP

Although we find ourselves in the new year, 2021, not much seems to have changed. A lot of us are still working remotely and many children are still learning virtually. Many times these events are happening in the same home with multiple family members all day. The weight of the Coronavirus pandemic and its consequences have followed us into this new year. How can we enact change in our lives when so much is the same? Oftentimes we look for our outside environment to change in order to trigger changes in us, our behaviors, our relationships, our moods, our goals, etc. Thus many people are feeling stuck right now. Stuck in anxiety and low mood, stuck in the ruts of old habits and poor communication. What can change? What agency do we have?

In the practice of mindfulness we find answers to those questions. Mindfulness practice helps us relate differently to our thoughts and feelings. It allows us to remove ourselves from the constant frantic pace of the doing mode and move safely to the being mode where we can observe our thoughts and feelings with openness and curiosity rather than as problems needing to be solved. When we do this we can choose whether or not to respond (rather than reacting). We open up a universe of creativity when we are in the being mode, whereas doing mode narrowly focuses our attention on the perceived problem, leaving little room for creativity and big picture thinking.

How does it work? By practicing mindfulness meditations daily you can improve your ability to be in the present moment (rather than ruminating about the past or anxiously anticipating the future). This changes how you relate to thoughts and feelings and thus your ability to communicate with others. Think about it, if you are talking with someone and half your mind is thinking about past issues you’ve had with this individual or anticipating what the best response/argument is to what the other is saying, you are not really in the moment with them, hearing what they are trying to convey. Daily mindfulness practice has been shown to improve mood, lower the risk of relapse to depression, reduce symptoms of anxiety and irritability, and improve sleep.

Sounds easy, right? The practice of mindfulness is simple, but not easy. There are many resources for engaging in mindfulness meditations. Meditations are guided and run from 3 minutes to 40+ depending on the meditation and the desired focus. All it takes is setting aside the time to engage in the practices and listening. It sounds easy. It is not. Our brains actively resist the being mode. They have been trained over many years of formal education to value the doing mode (i.e. problem solving, critical thinking, etc). However, we were all born with the ability to be fully aware in the present moment. Just look at a baby discovering his or her hands and fingers, feet and toes. Both modes of being are useful and good. We presently have a great imbalance between the two which can lead to and/or contribute to low energy, low mood, high anxiety, feelings of burnout, sleep disturbance, depression, and other physical health concerns (i.e. cardiovascular issues and intensification of chronic pain).

If you are interested in learning more about mindfulness practices, the best place to start is MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy). This is an evidence based practice that is used to help individuals manage all the symptoms mentioned above. But you do not have to suffer from depression or anxiety or chronic pain in order to benefit from MBCT or a daily practice of mindfulness. To learn more, I highly recommend Mindfulness: An 8-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World (by Mark Williams and Danny Penman). This book comes in many formats and includes a link for guided meditation practice. It leads you through an 8-week plan of habit disruptors, mindfulness practices, and guided meditations. Mark Williams, one of the authors, is one of the founders of MBCT. If you would like more guidance, please contact me at OakHeart Center to schedule an appointment.

If you are interested in learning Mindfulness Skills as part of a therapeutic experience, please call 630-570-0050 or email us at [email protected].